Theres a Cold and Darker Side to the Moonlight
by notthtucare
Summary: Emily Hollins is the quiet girl from ravenclaw. Her classmates stare at her funny, she all her professers favorite student, but worst of all shes the center of james potter and sirius black's jokes and teasing. but how justified is their teasing? is she r
1. Chapter 1

There was a saddening silence that seemed to hang in the air, as a young lady and young man walked down the street hand in hand. The only light the night seemed to posses was the moon and it currently was reflecting off the wet pavement of the street. Each word they said and every breath the couple took was emphasized by a little cloud where the hot breathe met the cold air. Each yard was damp as if the rain was evenly disputed onto every lawn. It seemed the only warmth they would receive would be from each other so the couple walked closely, with his hand around her waist and her head softly placed on his shoulder. The couple stopped walking and they look into each others eyes.

"Emily," he whispers into her ear, "it's not like I'm leaving you forever. Have you forgotten that we've done this a year before?"

"How could I forget the worst year of my life." She replies, her face resting on his chest, and a tear trickling down her cheek. "I just don't see why we have to be separated for another year. I mean I can drop out you know. Leave Hogwarts."

"What?" he said instantly shocked lifting her head so their eyes would meet, and wiping the tear that was sliding down her cheek. "Emily how could you even say something like that? Are you thinking before you speak? Listen to what you just said; Leave all the great things at Hogwarts?"

"What great things? No friends? Always by my lonesome. Tell me Nathan, what great things do I have at Hogwarts?" she said looking away from him getting upset.

"An education! A chance for a future! A life without dependency. Emily you have all the potential and more! But it's when you say stuff like that that I doubt such things." He replied loudly then alleviating his tone.

She became angrier with his comment and backed away from his embrace saying "You just want a year not to deal with me. Not like you miss me with all your friends and all the girls hanging on you. You get to go and do what you want. Practice Quidditch everyday. "

"Just because you're jealous! And you don't have…" he started, but decided to make the best out of the time they have together. "Beautiful, every second I spend away from you is another piece of my heart that dies until I see you again." Pulling her into a hug he apologized for their argument and kissed her a few times on her forehead." I have a favor to ask you." He said as if a little nervous.

"Yes?" she said a bit scared of what was to come as pessimistic thoughts filled her brain.

"Promise me…" he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a blue velvet box, "…that you'll truly love me infinitely. That you'll stay mine forever." Bending down on one knee on the floor before her he opened the box to reveal a white gold band with a white diamond set in the middle.

A silence that killed Nathan hung about in the air for a minute and he was about to stand up and hang his head in defeat when he heard her say "Yes. Yes! Of course." She began to chuckle slightly and reached down for his arm to help him up, "Get up. Get off the floor before you get soaking wet."

They both smiled at each other and met in a warm embrace followed by a kiss with passion. He smiled down at her at took her hand in his and slid the luxurious ring on her finger and she stared at it for a minute until she look up and they got lost in each other's gaze. 

"So how did your mother and father react when you told them?" she asked him walking hand in hand on the platform.

"Oh they knew. I had to announce to my mother and father what I planned to do, and then ask your mother and father's permission." He replied as he kept looking forward.

She chuckled, "Such a charmer." They both stopped when they reached the second to last passenger cart and faced each other.

"Promise you'll write everyday?" Nathan said with one hundred percent sincerity taking her hands in his.

"Nope. Just whenever I feel like it." she laughed and she thought about the unfamiliarity of the ring that sat on her hand.

"Promise me." He begged her.

"I promise. You have nothing to worry about Nathan. It's not like I'll off and run with a boy. I don't even have any friends at Hogwarts."

"Well maybe this is the year all those stupid boys will come to their senses and realize what a beautiful person they are missing out on." He smiled down to her.

She laughed. The only 'stupid boys' who even noticed her were Potter and Black, and they're next steps we're more than likely not devolving a crush on the girl they continuously liked to call Horridly Hideous Hollins. "That I highly doubt but thanks for trying to make me feel better." They smiled at each other and decided it best for them to say their goodbye's before this got any harder.

"You can start by writing me one right when you get in your compartment, Okay?"

"Okay. Now go before you're late for practice," she said standing on her tippy-toes to kiss him on the cheek.

"I'm not going to see my new fiancé 'till Christmas and she only gives me a kiss on the cheek." He said holding his cheek as if it pained him. Rolling her eyes at him she leaned in and gave him an over exaggerated kiss. "If only everyone of our kisses was like that." He laughed and then became serious. "I'll see you First day of Christmas break." He said more of as a question than a confirmation.

"Of course you will. But I've got to go before the train leaves." She said picking up her bag and heading towards the train.

"I Love you!" he shouted at her.

"I love you too!" she shouted back turning around on the boarding stairs. She paused on the stair for a second then smiled and turned around heading for a compartment. 

Luckily she wasn't as late as she thought she was and she found an empty compartment to sit in. After a few minutes of shifting around on the seat to make herself comfortable she found a position that she was comfortable in. She decided it best to start writing Nathan a letter like she had promised, and to get it out of the way. She pulled out a piece of parchment, a small container of ink, and the quill Nathan had gotten her for her birthday, when he had traveled to Italy with the Quidditch team.

Day 01 Year 02  
My Dearest Fiancé, 

Ha. Isn't that the strangest thing to say? Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely joyous and impatient to become Mrs. Nathan Weber. In fact I think I'll write it a few times just to get used to it.

Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Weber  
Mrs. Nathan Weber  
Mrs. Emily Weber  
Emily Weber formally known as Emily Hollins

That was a bit extreme. Truthfully, I can't wait to change my name to Weber. That way Potter and Black can't call me that horrid nickname ever again

She had all the intention to finish her letter to Nathan, however, just when she had finished writing the sentence about the taunting nickname, she heard a loud thud followed by the very voices of the ones she despised.

"I told you Evans, you can't deny your love for me much longer!" Potter shouted at someone in the front of the train.

"Yes love. That banishing charm was really love." She heard placing the voice to that of Remus Lupin.

"What was that Remus?" Potter questioned in an authoritative matter.

"You know you heard me James. Why question the obvious? It makes you seem so, unintelligent." Remus replied.

"Well anyways, lets find ourselves a compartment, what do you say Sirius?"

"Amen is what I say." Sirius Black said as if he had been walking all his life unable to sit once.

The shadows near Emily's Compartment door grew bigger and the voices louder. She had lost all movement due to seer panic and wasn't quite sure what to do. However the rattling of the sliding door awoke her from her trance and before it was opened she quickly muttered "Appareo" and tapped her paper to make the words on her paper disappear.


	2. Chapter 2

The Compartment door slid open with a powerful thud and total lack of regard. The three boys, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin stood in the doorway staring at Emily, most likely crafting another way to torment her. "Well isn't this wonderful. A free compartment and only one thing standing in our way." James said with a bit of hunger in his voice. "What to you suppose we should do with our horribly ugly problem, Sirius?" 

"Well I see Tweedle-de and Tweedle-dumb numbers one and two, but Tweedle-dumbest is missing. Where is your pet Pettigrew Potter?" She replied to James.

"There's only one option James." Black responded while his face grew crimson with fury and his eyes fixed on the piece of parchment clutched in Emily's hands.

James a little confused by Sirius' statement, looked over at him and followed his gaze to the piece of parchment and saw it as an opportunity to prove himself most malicious. Walking straight up to her he snatched the letter out of her hands, "And what do we have here," he said unrolling the paper, "…a blank paper? I doubt it. Probably wrote her feelings down on it and a spell to hide the writing. Remus, if you will."

Remus looked at her with pitying eyes as James held the unrolled paper in front of him. She let out a laugh and then rolled her eyes at Remus. "Lupin if you think pitying me will make you different then these two, you are extremely wrong. In fact it makes you worse. You are showing you have emotion. I don't expect anything else from these two who pick on people justifying it with their lack of entertainment. But now I'm regretting the fact that I thought you were different." She said glaring at the boys. Hoping they didn't notice that she was very embarrassed at the way she just threw all her thoughts into a statement that didn't make sense.

"What?" Sirius Questioned

"Forget it! Remus the spell!" James said hurriedly.

"Aparecium." Remus said with both a hint of regret and hesitance in his voice.

In her mind she could see each mushy lovey-dovey sentence re-appear and with every snicker the boys let out she sank lower into her seat. The scene was so unbelievable to her that she could rarely tell what she felt about it.

After reading the letter as a whole and deciding it was way too much James decided that it would in fact be hilarious (to himself and everyone else) to repeat a line from the letter then pause, make a gag noise and puff his cheeks as if were going to actually throw-up. That way all the while, his friends and the crowd that had now formed outside the compartment could have an immense laugh jointly.

After about five minutes James grew bored of Emily and her love letter. In doing so he decided it was time to move on and find someone else he could pain. He first looked down at then letter then back up at her glaring. After adding a head shake to the look he stared at her and said "Pathetic. Seriously pathetic." Then he turned around crumbled the paper in his hand and threw it back to hit her in the face.

Tears filled her eyes as she watched the piece of parchment fall to the floor. She looked up to the backs her tormenters and she met the gaze of Remus. However it pained him too much to look into her deep brown eyes so he quickly looked away as if oblivious to her pain.

As the compartment door slid closed she burst into tears .As an attempt to comfort herself she placed her feet on the seat so that her knees were at shoulder length, wrapped her arms around her knees, and quietly began to sob.

Emily spent the whole Sorting ceremony staring down at her ring. And the whole dinner shifting her food around to different positions on the plate. In the corner of her eye she caught sight of a couple who, instead of focusing on the food in front of them, seem content with focusing on the depths of each others eyes. Getting choked up she started thinking of Nathan and the predictable wonderful time he was having already. When she was brought out of her thoughts by a tear trickling down her cheek she decided to leave.

'If I'm going cry again it's going to be in private.' she told herself getting up from her bench or the Ravenclaw table. As not to draw attention she calmed herself and reminded herself to walk. With every step and click on the stone floor another tear came, until she arrived to the Great Hall doors opened them and ran off as they closed behind her.

With tears blurring her vision and soaking her cheeks she blindly turned a corner ran into someone and fell flat on her butt. As an attempt to clear her vision so she could see the unknown person she put her robes sleeves around her hand and wiped her eyes.

"I'm so worry, I'm a bit clumsy sometimes." She whispered trying to 'get herself together'.

With her vision still blurred she heard a sneer with the remark "I've noticed." as she regained her vision she looked over to see a very urgent Severus Snape gathering his books. As she placed her hand behind her body to lift herself up she hit a book.

After standing up she bent down to retrieve the book she had most obviously made him drop.

At the same time that she bent down to pick the hardcover up, Snape had too. He suddenly became very uncomfortable when his hand landed right on top of Emily's and she looked up at him and smiled.

He hurriedly removed his hand from hers, stood up and positioned out with his palm up. Emily was very concerned and confused by this and stood up clutching the book to her chest. She stared at him questionably for a minute until he cleared his throat and demandingly said "My book if you please." He then looked to his right as if he had seen something and cleared his throat once more.

"Certainly," she whispered finally, "I am very sorry for running in to you and dropping your belongings."

"Yes well," he replied beginning to walk off, "Just make sure it never happens again."

Emily stared at her hand where Severus's had touched hers and it began to tingle.

"Well that was tremendously touching," came a voice from the right of Emily.


	3. Chapter 3

She let out a gasp and looked to her right. There she saw the face of Peter Pettigrew glowing with curiosity and assumptions.

"Merlin Peter, you scared the bejebbes out of me." She said placing her hand lightly on her chest.

"I'm sorry Emily. I just…well I didn't…well I mean…what I'm trying to say is…"he stumbled.

Emily held her hand up to let him know that she knew what he was trying to say. "It's alright, Peter. No need to worry about it." she smiled at him and he returned it with a smile that would kill, in the bad way. His intentions were well of course, and that's what Emily adored his personality. Sure his teeth weren't the straightest, and his appearance was below 'par', but he had a heart of gold, one that Emily was sure only she saw. She was convinced it was self esteem (or lack there of) that made people overlook him.

"You…well..Y…you forgot one." He stated picking a book up off the floor.

"Well don't be such a tease, please hand it to me," she replied taking a step towards him.

"Are you glad to be back?" he questioned handing her the book with his eyes glued to the floor. 

"I can only say that every year only brings something, in which I can reply 'from the bottom things can only go to the top,'" she explained and then added a little grin. "How about you Peter, are you glad to be back with your friends?" she added. 

"Well…ye…yes." He stammered and then after a slight pause added, "I'm s…sorry, you know, for what they do to you. James and Sirius. They really are nice people and Remus… Remus is just dragged into really. He doesn't like what they do to you." 

"Yes well I imagine he is. Not everyone is as angelic as they let on though." She nodded and quickly attempted to change the subject. "So your summer how was it?"

"Well, I spent most of it with my mother and father, and Chelsea got her letter to Hogwarts. However I did see Remus, Sirius, and James quite often. Oh! And Lily… she… well she brought some books to keep me entertained."

"Have you told James yet, about your crush?" she asked whispering Lily's name as if it were a secret of some sort.

"P…Pr…James, Merlin no. I can't even begin to imagine. He would probably hex me." He added a slight nervous chuckle.

"Yes but isn't it better that you open with him? He is you friend, and friends don't keep secrets," she paused, "do they?" she said more as a question to herself then a statement towards Peter, who currently stood deep in thought.

"One day I will." He stated after thinking.

"One day soon?" she questioned coming out of her thoughts of friendships she might have had.

"Perhaps. I'm no…well I'm not really too certain." he paused. "You and…um...Nathan, how are you?" he asked as a desperate attempt to take the spotlight off himself.

She pulled her hand out of her pocket and held it out to show him. "Things are different." She smiled with a chuckle and put her finger to her lips letting out a 'shh'.

Peter stood in awe, with a look of concern and jealously spread across his face. "Already?" he questioned "You're not even out of Hogwarts yet. I'm sure Remus wont be to happy when I tell him." He mumbled, blurting out whatever thoughts occupied his mind.

"What? Why would you need to tell Remus?" she froze, eyes widening.

"I mean…I meant…I…I didn't mean." He stammered panicking. 

"No wait, what did you say?" she asked taking a step forward towards him, voice at a whisper, afraid that any other tone might kill her.

"N…No…Nothing," he replied mirroring her steps. "I…well…well I cant, okay? Just… just remember that people's actions don't always reflect their thoughts."  
He stated turning and walking away.

"Where are you going?" she questioned yelling after Peter.

"My friends will start to search for me soon. I better get back to the Great Hall. I'll… well I'll see you soon?" he asked turning, stepping backwards, his brow in a quizzical state.

"Yes, I imagine you will." Emily said quietly, placing her gaze to the floor yet again.

Emily stayed in her position for a few moments, repeating the events that had passed previously, over and over in her mind. However the more she thought on it, the more she drove herself towards insanity. So against her desires, she lifted her books to her chest to cradle them, and advanced towards the west side of the castle.

'What has Peter meant when he said Remus might be disappointed?' Well of course Emily wasn't as blunt not to know what he meant, but 'did that mean that Remus, heaven forbid, had feelings for her? Or did it mean that he would disapprove because of the lack of reason and logic? Surely,' she told herself, 'that it would have to be the second option. And she left it at that one thought, 'satisfaction enough,' she told herself. 'After all what reason, other than to create drama, would there be to think more into it?'

She took in one deep breathe and held it, as if forgetting how to release it. Then, she silently let it out. She glanced down at her books and then up again, but her eyes were forced back down to her books when she realized that the writing on the cover was not her own. The words were practically carved into the cover with the pen an read 'Potions Beyond Potions' and in the very left hand corner of the book read 'Severus Snape'.  
She paused where she was to trace the carving with her fingers, and then her fingers were suddenly lingering at the corner of the book waiting and telling her mind to open it.  
'One little glance,' she told herself, 'one little glance is all I really need to take. What could it really hurt?' Her fingers lingered at the corner as her mind made its last debate. However all she could hear was her sisters voice.

"Your in my stuff again Emily?" Georgiana yelled at her eleven year old sister as she opened the door to her room.

"No. I was looking for the dictionary." Emily simply stated.

"And you're denying it again? Emily you've got to stop lying. Listen here, just tell me the truth, tell me what you were reading of mine and I wont be mad this time," Georgiana said walking towards Emily. 

"I'm not lying," Emily stated, voice quivering,"Honest, I'm not. I really was looking for the dictionary."

"Emily! Lying and prying into others affairs get you no where. You lie so much now, that I'm beginning to believe what our family whispers," she paused, unsure if she honestly wanted to tell Emily her thoughts," You'll never amount to anything Emily. You'll get no where, have nobody, and posses absolutely nothing. Your future is far too easy to read, you'll live your life alone."

Emily, far too shocked, stood and stared her sister mouth wide open, and tears freely falling from her eyes." Everyone says that?" she questioned. "Everyone? Grandmother and Grandfather, Auntie and Uncle, even Mother and Papa?" she said raising her voice to a shout.

"Everyone." Georgiana simply said.

The truth was, Emily had been in Georgiana's rooms looking for the dictionary. However because of previous events Georgiana had no belief in anything Emily swore was the honest truth. That was the last time she has had a conversation with her sister that lasted for more then one minute and did not posses simple salutations and bits about the weather. That was also the day she stopped going anywhere outside her own room, unless it was the kitchen for food or the gardens for a nice walk.

And now as she stood in the corridor, unfamiliar book in her hand, her sisters words rang in her ears. A single tear trickled down her cheek and she raised her hand to wipe it off as she said out loud, "Your expectations for me were never near what they should've been anyways. I deserve a far better a life then to marry one of the Parkinson boys like you." She stated with confidence as she placed her fingers back on the corner of the cover and opened it.


	4. Chapter 4

The wind blew exposing the nape of her neck to the harsh coldness of the evening. The sound of the Great Lake seemed to be overlapped by the chattering of other students. Most of the students were couples, trying to find the 'spark' in their newly founded relationship. It was the whining voice of a young lady that had brought Emily out of a trance. Despite her keen intent of hearing the conversation, Emily was unable to make out what the girl had been bellyaching about in such a nasally manor. And such an informal way of flirting made Emily convince herself against the importance of eavesdropping.

Emily rubbed her biceps to help her body recover from the Goosebumps that had formed in result of a hard gust of wind. She continued, once realizing that the Goosebumps did not go away, to try and create friction between her hands and her arms. When she was once again entranced by the beyond of the Great Lake, she stopped her rubbing and stared. The trees beside her continued to blow as if they had something to say that could not be spoken in so little time.

It was when she started to feel the circulation of leg stop that she decided to find a new position of sitting. And after doing so her attention was drawn to the sky. Although it was almost nightfall the sky still had light to it. 'There will be a full moon tonight,' she silently noted to herself.

And as she noted what tonight held, for a minute the wind stopped blowing, the trees stood still, and the chatter silenced. Emily heard the crunch of a dead leaf and out of her peripheral vision a worn out dress shoe appeared parting the grass around it. The laces possessed randomly placed holes which appeared as if those spots had been rubbed against something too many times, and the shine of the shoe seemed to be lost months, perhaps years before. A silence hung in the air and Emily swore she could hear the breathing of the character beside her become heavier and the pounding of his heart quicken. He sucked in a deep pocket of air and broke the silence.

"Its getting late, and cold." He stated simply.

"Yes," she replied just as plainly.

"Curfew should not be taken so lightly."

"Remus if you wanted to bother somebody about curfew bother the twenty couples out on their picnics." she snapped. But as soon as she said something all the couples moved to return to the castle.

"I don't think curfew is something you ought to take in such an numb way." Remus whispered without emotion.

Completely ignoring his statement Emily questioned, "Shouldn't you be heading to the castle also Remus?"

Her statement made him completely unable to respond, because of his loss of believable responses. However, when she closed her books and stood up to leave he suddenly felt inclined to say something.

"I know you don't like me!" he almost shouted.

"Well that would be extremely logical and intelligent of you." She said scoffing pausing with her back to him.

"Please don't. Well I mean please don't hate me." He murmured.

When she turned around to seethe in disbelief, she found herself at a loss for words. The bitter wind had turned Remus pale and she became all too aware of scars on his face and neck. She could see that the scars continued on to below his collar, and in uncertainty she found herself stepping towards him. Without control over her actions, from what it felt like, she lifted her arm to his face. Hesitantly, she placed her palm on his cheek and sympathetically caressed his scars with her thumb. Remus being timid, took in a silent but deep breath, closed his eyes, and became wholly overcome by her touch.

"Their…" he started closing his eyes as if she had possessed him to do so. 

"Werewolf." She whispered. As soon as she said the word his eyes opened, coming out of his 'trance' and looked to contradict her statement.

"No," he replied, "No their not."

She furrowed her brow to achieve a basic understanding of the situation. She knew the signs of the curse he held, but not wanting to push the matter further looked up at him. 

"Goodnight Remus. I hope you get at least some rest tonight, for I do wish to see you tomorrow. However I will not set myself up for disappointment." She said walking towards the castle. 

"Goodnight Emily." He said under his breath and walked towards the Whomping willow.

Emily walked towards the castle slowly, just in case Remus had been watching. And though her body was walking slowly and calmly, her mind was wild in thought. Had she no self-control, she had practically jumped on Remus? Once inside the castle her body began catching up with her mind and she began to run. Why she was running, she had no clue, but her sanity was the last of her concerns and was shoved into the far corner of her mind. 

"You!" a voice came from behind her, yelling for her to stop.

The sudden yell had come as such a surprise to Emily that she actually jumped at hearing her name being called. She paced herself to a sudden stop and then proceeded to turn around to greet her addresser with a smile. However as soon as her smile was formed, it disappeared at the site of the pale face and greasy hair of the boy whose book she had retained for some weeks.

"May I help you sir?" she asked pretended as if his appearance hadn't struck her memory.

"Yes of course you may help me! Don't act thick Filthy child!" Snape said through clenched teeth. When Emily did not respond however, he took it upon himself to pretend to be polite. If not for anything, for the sake of his book, he convinced himself. "Miss, may you do me the honor returning the book, which belongs to me, so that I may continue my important studies of the information it holds."

Emily had to hand it to him; he had attempted to be polite, even if she could hear the sarcasm and mockery dripping from each sentence formed.

"My name is Emily Hollins." She stated holding her hand out, expecting the young boy to repeat the indication of humanity.

"What?" he looked at her hand in disgust and left her gesture there, demanding, "Why do I care? Just return my book to me. Now!" 

"What is your name?" she pushed him.

His internal struggle to answer the question was externally evident, and in letting his softer side win out, answered her question. "Severus Snape, Slytherin." He said boasting the last part with much pleasure.

"You called me filthy child," she noted putting her hand to her side, "but I am the same age as you am I not?" 

"Being the gentleman I am, I cannot express my thoughts on that matter." he said emotionless.

"I beg of you Severus, express away." he winced in hearing his first name stated so freely out of the mouth of someone so lesser. But her eyes pleaded with him. 

At first he was hesitant to say anything, however once he started he found it hard to stop his opinion from coming out. "In age we may be the same, but you will always be inferior to me because of one, your knowledge is no where near mine was at the age of two. And two, your house, Ravenclaw, places you second-rate to both my blood and house." He declared, stressing the word Ravenclaw with supreme repulsion. "Now my book Madam."

Emily, being absolutely dumbstruck from his candor, took the book from her side bag and placed it in his outstretched hand. In receiving the book, Snape turned on his heel, his hair staying in one gooey, sticky spot, and walked towards the dungeons.


End file.
